No Time Like the Present
by denise1
Summary: Fears about her future send Sam on an exploration of her past


# italics

And there are flashbacks in this story, so if things seem odd, just go with it. It should all make sense in the end G

No Time Like the Present

By

Denise

"Is that all of them?" Jack asked, stepping back as the last villager was ushered into the caves by Carter and Teal'c.

"Yes, sir," Sam said, raising her voice over the rising wind. "The village is totally deserted."

Jack nodded. "How long you think this storm's gonna last?"

Sam shook her head. "Hard to tell, sir. The locals don't seem too concerned. It seems to be an annual occurrence."

"That's what Crader said," Jack confirmed. "They're called Spirits of something…" He shook his head. "Basically this planet's equivalent of the Santa Ana winds."

"You know, sir. If we hoofed it, we could probably make it back to the gate before it got too bad," she said.

"Nah," Jack shook his head. "And ruin all Jonas' fun?" He jerked his thumb towards the back of the cave. "He's back there grilling Crader and his friends. This should only last a day or so. If not, they also said the winds die down at night. We get too bored we can always bail."

"It would be nice if we don't make these folks mad at us. They do have a lot of naquadah, and we can always use some," she agreed.

"Yeah," he said. "Teal'c's setting up camp back there somewhere. I'm gonna…watch the wind."

"Ok. See you in a bit, sir." Sam walked back into the cave system, squinting until her eyes adjusted. This appeared to be a fairly large and complex cave system, the ceiling about eight feet tall and the walls smooth and dry. According to some of the villagers, the caves had been a refuge for centuries, somewhere safe for them to go during storms.

There was room in the caves for every member of the village and in a couple of other caves for their livestock. The cave had no water source, but there was a spring nearby and the villagers had become adept at storing enough to last them for a couple of days, using the frequent lulls in the winds to go get more.

She found Teal'c set up in a small off shoot cavern, about ten feet wide. He'd set aside four distinct spaces with a small portable fire pit in the middle that reminded her of a Hibachi grill. "Hey," she said, taking off her pack and laying claim to one of the bags in the back of the cave.

"Major Carter. You have successfully evacuated the villagers?"

"Yep. They're all here," she said, gratefully sitting down on the bag. She stretched out her legs and leaned against the wall of the cave. "I left the colonel at the entrance. He said Jonas was talking to Crader?"

"Indeed. We have received an invitation to join the Lavari for their evening meal."

"As long as they're not serving MRE's, it sounds good to me." She shifted position to lay down on the sleeping bag. "Wake me up for dinner," she muttered, pulling her hat down over her eyes. She tried to doze off, prevented by the noise generated by two hundred people in one echoing cave system.

It was definitely going to be a long couple of days.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Six hours later, she rolled over, punching her meager pillow in frustration. Would that kid never shut up?

She sat up, not surprised to find her companions missing. That was par for the course. During dinner she remembered Crader saying something about games of chance.

If she knew the rest of her team, Jonas would be off talking to the locals, Teal'c too, although she'd noticed lately that he was just as likely to be found with the children. And the colonel? She suspected that he'd be putting his pocket change to work teaching the natives the fine art of poker.

Abandoning the idea of sleep, she rolled out of her sleeping bag, quickly putting on her boots and finger combing her hair. If she couldn't sleep, she may as well do some exploring. Several hundred people lived in the village and she found it amazing that the cave systems were large enough and stable enough for all of them to take refuge in them.

She walked through the caverns, recognizing some of the people, knowing that they all knew her, at least by extension, her clothing setting her apart as an outsider. The faint sound of a child crying wafted over the heads of the villagers and she found herself drawn to it, wondering why none of them were responding.

Then again, if they did this on a yearly basis, chances are there was always a child crying. The sound led her deeper into the cave, into a part that was scantily populated, she guessed because it was significantly cooler than the rest. "Hello?" she called, not wanting to scare them.

She walked further, drawn on by the flickering firelight reflecting off the walls. Rounding a corner she found the source of the crying, a little girl cradled in a woman's arms. "Aah, hi," she said, pausing at the mouth of the chamber. The woman looked up at her, as did the child. The firelight reflected off her tear-streaked face as she raised one grubby hand to wipe her nose with a sniff. "I'm sorry. I hope I'm not intruding."

The woman smiled, making a welcoming gesture. Sam stepped forward, joining her by the fire. "My name is Sam," she introduced.

"Mahra," the woman said. "This is Kayla."

"Hi, Kayla," Sam said, smiling at the girl. She looked up, but still clung to the woman, who Sam presumed to be her mother.

"She does not like the dark," Mahra said.

Sam chuckled a bit. "Neither did I." She remembered something and dug in her pocket, pulling out a slightly smashed candy bar. Looking to the woman for permission, she held it out to Kayla. "It's a candy bar…a sweet," she explained. She watched the child fumble with the wrapper; eventually holding it up for her mom after her chubby fingers couldn't open the plastic wrap.

"She is usually very well behaved," Mahra apologized. "We just left so fast."

"The storms don't blow up this quickly?" Sam asked.

Mahra shook her head. "No. Usually we have days to prepare. This time it came faster. We did not even have time to bring some of our possessions."

"I want Shela," Kayla said, her lower lip quivering.

"Shela?"

"Her doll," Mahra explained. "We did not have time to find it."

"I used to have a doll," Sam said. "My mom bought it for me."

"Really?"

Sam nodded. "His name was Matt," she said.

"Matt?"

"A very long story," Sam dismissed. She stopped and thought. That was one thing she hadn't heard when she'd left their chamber, the sound of the wind. An odd idea filtered through her brain, something that she knew would get her into a world of trouble with the colonel. If he found out. "Which house was yours?" she asked quickly.

"What?"

"Which house?"

"We live on the edges of the village. Red flowers grow in front," Mahra said. Sam nodded, remembering the hut. "What are you going to do?"

Sam shook her head. "I don't know," she said, not wanting to get their hopes up. She got to her feet, taking a moment to tousle Kayla's hair. "I'll be back in a bit," she promised.

She turned and walked from the chamber, taking a quick glance at her watch. "Plenty of time," she muttered. She'd have plenty of time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam walked through the low grass, thoroughly enjoying the relative silence of her surroundings. The planet was located in a large nebula, the glowing gasses meaning that it was never truly dark, but more of a dim twilight at night.

The wind was nothing more than a faint breeze, rustling the grasses and branches of the trees. She could see that there had been some damage, occasionally stepping around fallen branches.

She hoped the houses of the village had fared better. From the two days they'd spent in the village, she'd noted the sturdy structure of the homes, their heavy stone walls seemingly built to defend against the wind. In fact, the only real structural weakness she could see was the roofs. Just like homes in Earth during a tornado, the roofs were the Achilles heels of the structures. If the roofs blew off, it would expose the people within to the full fury of the wind. Which was probably why they didn't risk it, instead seeking shelter in the caves.

She remembered seeing the house Mahra had described. It was a small home in comparison to the others and located on the very outskirts of town. She'd walked by it as she'd ushered the last of the villagers to the caves earlier that day. Which meant that it was a rather short walk, taking her a couple of hours at the most to get to the hut, find the doll and make it back

And if she was lucky, the colonel would never even know she was gone. She felt a momentary pang at not filling him in. She knew she should have, that she was breaking mission protocol by going off on her own.

Right now she didn't care. She desperately wanted some time alone. There were days when she thoroughly enjoyed spending time with her teammates, other times, she wanted nothing more than to be alone. This was one of those times.

The only other sound than her footsteps was the muted night music of various insects and animal life. She sighed as she walked, letting the sound soothe her frayed nerves. The last few weeks had been very stressful to say the least. While the colonel had been gone, Teal'c had appointed himself her near constant companion, a fact that she appreciated at the time.

But since Nirti's planet, all three of her teammates had been too close for comfort, one of them always close at hand even on Earth. It was sweet of them, it really was. It was just starting to grate on her nerves.

That was one reason she'd so looked forward to this mission. The chance to explore a friendly planet wasn't one they got often.

She'd hoped that the guys would be so distracted they'd give her some space. Instead, the Spirit winds promised the opposite, her desire for privacy losing out in the face of keeping the natives safe.

She reached the fringes of the village and groped for her flashlight, not trusting being able to pick out red flowers in the meager light from the nebula. Spying the house, she walked up to it, hoping that the locals didn't have any sort of locks.

She pushed open the door and groaned, struggling a bit to get into the room. It looked like the village had sustained some damage as well, the roof of the building now inside rather than on top of the home.

Feeling more motivated than ever to find the girl's doll, she stepped inside the walls, struggling a bit to maneuver her way around the debris. She could tell that the interior furnishings were meager, wooden tables and chairs, some roughly woven textiles and clay like bits of pottery.

The home also had an attic, a drunkenly leaning ladder pointing the way. Figuring that Kayla was too small to sleep upstairs, she set to exploring the lower level, trying not to do any more damage than had already been done.

Her flashlight revealed a flash of red and she swept it back. "Yes," she muttered as the light revealed a small cloth doll. She scrambled over some more debris then snagged the doll, taking a quick glance at it before shoving it into her jacket to free her hands so she could make her way out.

She paused for a second, studying the structure. All in all the damage wasn't too bad. A little elbow grease and it could be good as new. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she felt her heart lurch. A roaring wail swarmed over her and she realized that the winds were back.

She debated for a second, whether to stay in the house or try to make her way back. She heard an ominous crack and looked up, barely having time to scream as the second floor of the house gave way, crashing down on top of her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"For the last time, where in the hell were you last night?" Jacob demanded, his best colonel's voice echoing off the walls of their small house.

Mark didn't answer, instead squaring his jaw and crossing his arms across his chest in an age-old gesture of defiance.

Sam watched her father sigh, pushing himself back from the table. "Answer me," he ordered.

"It's none of your business."

"Sir," Jacob reminded.

"Sir," Mark spat, his disdain for his father plain. That was something Jacob had drilled into both his children, the need to respect their elders. A quirk made more appropriate in his way of thinking by their surroundings.

Knowing where the conversation was going, Sam got up from the table, reaching over to pick up Mark's plate. "I made brownies," she said, deliberately injecting optimism in her voice and pasting a smile on her face. Her mom used to be able to do that, defuse the all too common arguments between the two men of the house.

Unfortunately, she seemed to lack that knack as neither her father or Mark responded, instead staring sullenly at each other.

She took the plates into the kitchen, wondering if she could risk taking the time to rinse them off. Raised voices from the other room made her decision for her. She quickly grabbed the pan of brownies and hurried back into the small dining room. "I couldn't find any nuts so I had to make them plain," she explained. Actually, there had been enough nuts for the first two batches, both of which she'd ruined. Then with the grocery store miles away and her not having any money, she did the best she could, she did without.

"Why are you always on my back?" Mark demanded.

"I am not on your back, mister."

"Then why are you harassing me about where I was last night?"

"Because you have a curfew, one that you broke."

"I was half an hour late."

"Why?"

"What does it matter?" Mark fired back.

"It matters because it's a house rule." The two men were on their feet, their stances militant.

"What difference does half an hour make?"

"On the battle field, half an hour is the difference between life and death."

"We're not on a battle field," Mark shot back, his voice exasperated.

"We might have some ice cream. I could make sundaes," Sam suggested, moving around the table. She held up the pan of brownies trying to distract them.

"This is my house and as long as you're living under my roof, you live by my rules."

"This isn't a house, it's a police state," Mark shot back.

"You don't know what a police state is."

"It's this house!" he yelled, turning to stalk away.

"Don't you turn your back on me!" Jacob grabbed his arm, pulling him back. Mark resisted and his flailing arm caught Sam, sending her off balance. She dropped the pan of brownies and caught the edge of the tablecloth, trying to keep her balance. It slid off the table, dishes and glasses following it to shatter on the floor.

She sat there in stunned silence for a moment, staring down at the mess. "Sam, are you ok? Look what you did," Jacob accused.

"I did? Why is it always my fault?"

"You hit your sister."

"You pulled me back."

"Stop it," Sam said, reaching out to pick up the shattered pieces of a serving dish. She remembered this dish. Her mom had never let her dry it. It had been her grandmother's and an antique. She'd used it to try and make the meal special, just like the Sunday dinners before, before she went away.

Why couldn't she do it? Why couldn't she make it work? Her mom could. She could do everything, make dinner, and keep the house clean. She knew how to keep them from fighting and Sam couldn't even manage that. All she seemed to do was make it worse.

She heard them arguing over her head, their voices rising. "Stop it," she said again, her hand closing over the broken dish. They kept yelling. "STOP IT!" she screamed, getting to her feet. She turned to face them, throwing the dish at them, not feeling the rough edge tear into her palm. "Stop it, stop it, stop it." She stared at them, barely registering the shocked looks on their faces. "Just stop it," she said, feeling suddenly unsure of herself.

Not caring about the mess, she turned and ran back to her room, shutting the door behind

her.

Still breathing heavily, she stared at her room, her eyes lighting on the antique quilt on the bed. She closed her eyes, trying to calm down. That was wrong, so wrong. Mom never lost her temper.

Her hands still shaking, she walked over to her desk. Her homework. She still had to get that done. She'd put it off all weekend, cleaning on Saturday and cooking all day today. She sat down, belatedly noticing that her hand was bleeding. Loathe to leave the sanctuary of her room, she reached for the pile of the laundry she'd just done and pulled out one of her socks, wrapping the thick cotton cloth around her palm as a makeshift bandage.

Grateful that she'd at least hurt her left hand and that she was right handed, she opened her textbook, taking refuge in her studies.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack yawned, arching his back to stretch his muscles. He glanced at his watch, surprised to discover that it was past midnight. "Not that this hasn't been fun but I think it's time for me to call it a night."

The other men he was playing cards with nodded their agreement and he got up, making his way back to the chamber they'd been assigned. He found Teal'c seated by the entrance, already in the depths of kelnoreem. Jonas' and Carter's bedrolls were empty. "Teal'c?" Jack said softly, not wanting to interrupt him but needing to know.

"Yes, O'Neill?" The Jaffa slowly opened his eyes, signaling that he wasn't meditating as deeply as he usually did.

"Where are Carter and Jonas?"

"When I last saw him, Jonas Quinn was still taking with Crader. I have not seen Major Carter since evening meal."

Jack frowned. She hadn't seemed in the social mood earlier, hell she'd been rather pensive and quiet for the last week or so. A chill crept down his spine, that little voice in his head screaming for attention. He got back to his feet.

"O'Neill?"

Jack shook his head. "I don't know. You stay here. And if Carter comes back, keep her here too," he ordered.

Teal'c nodded and Jack left their part of the cave, hoping for once that his intuition was wrong.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam stopped at the red light, taking a moment to admire her ring. It wasn't the biggest diamond she'd ever seen, but it didn't have to be. Six months from now she'd be Mrs. Captain Jonas Hanson. She couldn't help the giddy feeling that swept over her.

She knew he had some flaws, his forceful attitude chief among them. But they were just a result of him, and his career. She knew how the military worked, some thrived under the structure rich atmosphere, others rebelled. Jonas often rebelled, compensating for his lack of control in his career by exerting it at home. It was nothing they couldn't work through, that much she knew.

The light changed green and she accelerated through the intersection, her fingers tapping on the steering wheel in time with the music.

In an uncommonly good mood, she glanced at the clock on the dash. 1700. Which meant Jonas should be getting off duty right about now. Impulsively pulling into a barbeque place they both liked, she picked up enough food for two and changed her course, headed to his apartment.

Fifteen minutes later, she parked in front of his building and grabbed the food, relieved to see that his car was parked in the lot. She hurried up the stairs, digging for her keys.

Humming slightly, she unlocked the door and stepped into his small apartment. That was one thing they still hadn't decided on, where they were going to live after they were married.

She thought they could just move into her apartment, since it was bigger than his. He wanted them to move into base housing. Hearing his muffled voice, she set the food down and made her way towards the deck.

"Of course she'll do it," she heard Jonas say. Curious, she paused just out of sight of the doors to the balcony. "Look, baby. I got her wrapped around my little finger," he bragged. "Oh please, You think I'm marrying the cold blooded little do gooder because I love her? Honey, I'm doing this for you. Yes, for you." Sam saw a shadow cross the window and moved back. She could see him pacing the deck through the sheer curtains. "Do you have any idea what daddy the general will do for my career? I'll be a major within the year, have my choice of assignments." He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Of course he'll do it. He'll be taking care of his little girl. Look, it's very simple. I'll marry her, have a grand kid or two, and then divorce her. Daddy will want to take care of his grand kids so he'll take care of my career. We'll have nothing to worry about." He stopped, looking out over the edge of the balcony. "Of course she'll quit. She does what I tell her to. Just like a good little military wife."

Feeling sick to her stomach, she backed away, unable to stand any more. She tore off the ring, not feeling when it scraped her knuckle and let it drop to the floor. In a haze she picked up her keys, quietly leaving the apartment, and her 'future' behind.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack made his way back to the mouth of the cave his eyes scanning every person, trying to find the tell tale flash of blond that would signify he'd found his second.

"Have you found her?" He turned to see Jonas and Teal'c walking towards him.

Jack shook his head. "No. Either of you had any luck?"

"I've been asking around. No one's seen Sam since dinner."

"This isn't right," Jack said. "She knows better."

"Perhaps she went outside," Teal'c suggested.

"Why?" Jack asked. "They said it's not safe."

"Actually, colonel. They said it's not safe when the wind blows," Jonas said.

"What's the difference?" Jack asked.

Jonas shrugged. "Maybe nothing."

Jack turned, moving to look out the mouth of the cave. It was still dark, the light from the nebula painting the landscape in a faint pinkish glow. Logically he knew Carter should have stayed inside. That she knew better than to go larking off. But something told him that logic didn't apply. "She's out there," he said quietly.

"How do you know?"

Jack shook his head. "I don't…I just do."

"If that is true, then perhaps she returned to the village for some reason," Teal'c suggested.

"It's not that far. She could have made it there in about an hour," Jonas said.

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "Ok, we're going to go check out the village. If we need to, we'll contact the SGC and get Hammond to authorize a UAV."

The three men left the cave intent up on rounding up their missing comrade.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam sighed and leaned back on the bed, reaching for a Kleenex from the table to wipe her nose. This was definitely not her day, hell her week, her year. Things had just been getting back to normal, or at least as close to normal that they'd ever be and then she had to be a total klutz.

It was bad enough she'd tripped and fallen into a creek on their last mission. That was embarrassing enough. But since they were only on the planet for a few hours, none of them had brought a change of clothes, which meant that the colonel had cut the mission short, turning back to the gate without reaching the sample area. And to make matters worse, it appeared that she'd caught a bit of a cold thanks to a nice long hike in wet clothes.

Normally, she'd be sent home, but not this time. This time Janet was afraid that her cold could be complicated by her brand new blood chemistry so instead of being sent home, she was quarantined on the base, confined to one of the guest quarters until the doctor could determine if a cold as just a cold or if she was the carrier of something worse.

She reached into a drawer and pulled out a packet of cold medicine she'd picked up at the PX, swallowing the pills.

It was another prime example of just how screwed up her life was. Every time she tried to fit in something happened, something reinforced the truth, that she'd always be an outsider.

Indulging in a bit of self-pity, she pulled the blanket from the foot of the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. Maybe it would have been better had she never overheard Jonas and called off the wedding. Sure, if he'd had his way she'd probably be a divorced mother of two by now, but at least she'd have some sort of life, some sort of family. 

She didn't seem to have gained much from her decisions. Yeah, sure, she had her career. Had being the operative word. Who the hell was going to trust a person that'd been possessed by an alien? Each day she came into work, she half expected to hear that she'd been pulled from the team and confined to her lab.

She didn't see how they could keep trusting her when she didn't even trust herself. And she knew it'd just get worse if she ever told them about the dreams, dreams so alien and strange that they couldn't be hers. Dreams that set her apart more than anything else did. Dreams that reminded her that there were things about herself that she couldn't deny. Sure, she could downplay who her father was, or use her knowledge to compensate for any lack of physical skill.  But she couldn't deny what Jolinar had done. The evidence was in every single cell of her body. The alien had altered her physically; changing her in ways the doctor couldn't even begin to understand.

And now it appeared that not only her body was effected, but her mind as well. How much more would there be? Would it stop at just the dreams, or was there more? Would the day come when she'd cease to be herself?

She should tell them, she knew that. It was her duty to inform them. But she desperately didn't want to. She just wanted to pretend it never happened. She was tired of being on the outside, tired of not fitting in, tired of being different. Tired of being alone.

The door opened and she wiped her face, disguising the act by also blowing her nose. "Captain Carter."

"Teal'c. You shouldn't be in here," she said. "Janet quarantined me."

"In the unlikely event you carry a contagion, it is probable that it will not effect me," he said, walking into the room. He walked towards the bed and she scooted over to give him room to sit.

"What's this?" she asked, motioning towards the small tray he carried.

"I believe the human adage is to feed a cold," he explained setting the tray down.

"I'm not hungry," she said, shaking her head.

"Regardless, you must eat," he insisted. "My research indicates that chicken soup is thought to be a remedy for a cold," he said, picking up a mug from the tray and handing it to her.

Too tired to fight him, she accepted it, wrapping her hands around the mug. She smelled it, then took a sip, grudgingly admitting to herself that it did taste good. She drank some more, enjoying the presence of another person.

"You have been quiet of late," he said softly, breaking the silence.

"Haven't had much to say." Finished with the soup, she set the mug down, feeling distinctly light headed. Recognizing the pull of the cold medicine, she leaned back, letting her eyes fall closed. "Do you know what last week was?" she asked after a few moments.

"I do not," he replied, equally as softly.

"It was my birthday," she confessed.

"I thought humans celebrated the anniversary of their births?"

"They do. If someone remembers. But nobody did." She opened her eyes and looked at him. "It doesn't make any sense, Teal'c. My own family didn't even remember my birthday. But Jolinar, someone who knew me for a few days, died to save my life."

"Perhaps he saw something in you worth saving," he suggested.

She shook her head, moving to lay down, turning her back to him. "I don't know what he saw," she muttered, unable to fight the pull of sleep any longer.

"I do," he said, getting up from the bed and leaving her to her slumber.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack followed Teal'c as the Jaffa led the way back to the village. They'd found what he said were Carter's tracks about halfway between the cave and were now following those footprints.

The good news was, those tracks suggested that she was alone. Which was a relief. For a few minutes he'd humored the thought that they had another love struck kid to deal with and that she'd disappeared against her will. Of course, as much of a relief as it was to find that she was alone, it just brought up more unanswered questions.

Like why in the hell she'd left the cave in the first place. He knew what had happened on Nirti's planet had shook her a bit, but hell, coming that close to dying would shake anyone. She'd seemed ok once they'd gotten back to Earth, filing the whole experience away in a 'neat but nothing I'd like to repeat' file.

Maybe he'd missed something. Maybe Fraiser had missed something. Maybe they were all wrong and she hadn't been fixed. She'd spent some time with the doctor before they'd left, apparently having a conversation she hadn't cared to relay to them. At the time, he'd respected her wishes, now he wished he'd pushed harder.

"O'Neill." He turned. Teal'c was pointing towards one of the houses on the very edge of town. "She went into there," he said.

"And didn't come out," Jonas said, playing his flashlight over the ground.

"Now why the hell?" Jack asked. Motioning to the others to fan out, he moved forward, raising and cocking his weapon. "Carter?" he called. Receiving no response, he moved closer, carefully peering around the edge of the partially open door. "Carter?" He pushed the door open, crouching as he looked into the structure. "Son of a…Teal'c, Jonas!" he called, lowering his weapon.

His companions followed him in; all three of them hurrying towards the figure pinned under part of the house.

"She is alive," Teal'c said, checking her pulse.

"Jonas, give me a hand," Jack ordered, moving to remove some of the debris.

"What was she doing here?" Jonas asked.

Jack shook his head. "I don't know." He looked up, frowning as he saw the first inkling of the coming dawn. He could hear the wind start to rise, signaling a return of the storms. "We're not going to make it back to the gate. Let's get her out of here and find some place to hole up," he decided, frowning at the unconscious form of his teammate.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam sat on the porch swing, idly pushing herself back and forth. The rain that had heralded her and her dad's arrival to San Diego had ended, leaving the afternoon sunny and warm. Jacob was playing in Mark's back yard, playing catch with the kids, getting to know his grandchildren for the first time.

"He looks good," Mark said, sitting beside her. He held out a bottle of beer and she took it, pulling up the hem of her shirt to twist off the cap.

"Thanks. And yes, he does."

"You didn't say what happened," he said as she took a drink.

"What do you mean?"

"A year ago he was dying. Now…he looks perfectly healthy."

She shrugged. "He went into remission," she said, hating the lie but knowing that it was all she could do. She fell silent for a moment, taking a deep drink of her beer. "He missed you, you know."

"What?"

"Last year. He was…hurt that you didn't come," she said, knowing that she was broaching a touchy subject, but a subject that needed to be broached.

"I aah…it was a bad time."

"Bad time?"

He closed his eyes. "I don't mean that way. I just…I couldn't stand to see him like that," he said sincerely.

"Mark…" She reached out to lay her hand on his arm.

He shook his head. "Besides, he had you. He didn't need me."

"Yes, he did," she insisted.

"No. Ever since Mom died, it's been the two of you."

"Is that why you left?" she asked, finally voicing the question that had been bugging her for almost two decades.

He sighed. "If I'd have stayed, all we would have done is fight. And I could see what our fighting was doing to you. You leaving wasn't an option, so I did."

"You moved out, for me?" she asked, stunned at his revelation.

"You needed dad, he needed you. I…I was in the way."

She shook her head. "No, Mark…"

"Sam, please. You two have had a connection since the first time you asked him to make you fly," he said, referring to a game Jacob used to play, swinging her around until she was dizzy. "Besides, you're …you're a lot like her," he said.

"I am?"

He nodded. "More than you realize. Dad needed that. And I…Every time I looked at you, I saw her. And he saw her. And that was always going to be between us."

"I barely remember what she looks like," she admitted.

"I know."

They fell silent, both enjoying the antics of the trio playing in the yard. "So," he said after a few minutes. "You're in Colorado now?"

"Yeah. Colorado Springs."

He nodded. "Dad said you work on some radar thing."

"Analysis of deep space radar telemetry," she said, trying not to grimace at how lame it sounded. The desire to tell him the truth was nearly overwhelming.

"Aah. Sounds very…"

"Boring to most people," she said.

"That too."

"It can be. And then, every once in a while, something happens and…there's nowhere else on Earth you'd rather be. You remember a friend of dad's who used to come around. George Hammond?"

He thought for a moment. "Maybe. Texan?"

"Yeah. He's the CO of the base. My boss is Colonel O'Neill. He's…a lot like dad at times. Always coming up with some bad one-liner. And there's Daniel. He's a civilian consultant."

"Single?"

She rolled her eyes. "Married, but a great guy and Teal'c. He's a foreigner," she explained in response to his raised eyebrows. "He's one of those guys that doesn't say much but…you'd walk down any back alley in the world if he was with you."

"So you spend your day surrounded by guys?"

"Not quite. There's Janet. She's the CMO. She just adopted this young girl a little over a year ago. We all sorta…I don't know how to describe it. We all help raise her," she finished, not quite sure how to put it into words.

"It sounds like you finally have your family," he said.

"What?"

"Ever since mom died, that's been all you've tried to do, make a family. It sounds to me like you finally have that."

She stopped and thought, watching Jacob pick Mark's daughter up, swinging her around like he used to do to her. She had done that, slowly over the last three years, she'd adopted and been adopted by the other members of her team. So many times in the last several years she'd tried to hard to make a family only to fail, and now she was a part of one, without even realizing it.

"You're right," she agreed. "They are my family."

"You feel like having two…families that is?" he asked.

"Oh yeah." She reached out and pulled him into a hug.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam opened her eyes, blinking slowly to clear her vision. Where the hell?

"Sam. You're awake." She turned her head to see Jonas moving closer to her. "Hang on," he said, reaching out and laying gentle pressure on her shoulder. "You better not move too fast. We don't think you're hurt too badly, but we can't be sure until we get you back home."

"Hurt? What happened?" she said, ignoring him to slowly sit up. She didn't feel hurt, maybe a little stiff and sore.

"We were sort of hoping you could tell us," he said, glancing over his shoulder at Teal'c who was seated a small distance away.

"You went walkabout," she heard. She turned to see Jack push himself away from the wall, walking towards her. "You left the cave and apparently decided to come explore the village, in the middle of the night and without telling anyone where you were going," he said as he squatted down beside her. "Care to tell us why?"

She thought back, trying to remember what had happened. She reached into her jacket, pulling out the tattered doll. "There was a little girl in the caves. She kept crying, she wanted her doll."

"So, you just decided to come and get it?"

"Yeah."

"Without telling anyone," Jack pressed.

"Yes, sir."

"Do I really need to tell you how wrong that was?"

"No, sir," she replied, acknowledging that she had made a mistake, one that had nearly had tragic results.

"We'll save the lecture on how stupid it was and how lucky you were that you didn't get killed for later," he said.

She smiled her gratitude. "Where are we?"

"The winds came up. We didn't have enough time to make it to the gate so we found a house with a cellar," Jonas explained.

"Sunset is approaching," Teal'c said. "We should be able to return to Earth in a few hours."

"Sunset?"

"We found you around dawn. You've been out of it all day," Jonas explained.

"We can't go," Sam said.

"Excuse me?" Jack asked.

"My samples, they're back in the caves."

"They'll keep."

"Colonel…"

"Crader will understand."

"Actually, colonel, he may not," Jonas interrupted.

"Jonas?"

"They just thought we were looking for Sam. If we don't return, they may come looking for us."

"Ok. So we'll get you and Carter home, then Teal'c and I will go tell Crader everyone's ok."

"No, sir," Sam said.

"No, sir?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Colonel, please. I need to take this back." She held out the doll.

"We can deliver it."

"Sir. I need to do it. Please."

Jack looked at her, the indecision plain on his face. She stayed silent, knowing that the slightest thing could change his mind. Finally he sighed. "Ok. But if you so much as think about running off, I'm gonna have Teal'c toss you over his shoulder and carry you back home."

"I promise," she said, knowing full well that her Jaffa friend was more than capable of doing just that.

He looked at his watch. "Sun should set in about an hour. We'll leave then."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam followed her friends as they walked up to the cave. It had been an easy walk, the nebula again providing more than enough light to illuminate their way.  She could see a little more damage to area trees, but oddly enough, the only house that was damaged was the one she'd walked into.

"Half an hour, kids," Jack said, standing aside to allow the rest of his team to walk into the cave.

"Sir?"

"We're due back anyway. Hand over your doll, say your good-byes and we're outta here," he said, the tone of his voice brooking no argument.

"Yes, sir," she answered, knowing that coming back to the cave was all the concession she was going to get. She should consider herself lucky that he'd given her that much, given what she'd done.

After receiving Teal'c's promise to pick up her samples, she headed towards the back of the caves, relying on her memory to navigate her way to where she'd last seen Kayla and Mahra.

The caves weren't a crowded as they'd been before, many of the Lavari taking advantage of the ceasing of the winds to go outside, getting some fresh air.

Seeing no welcoming firelight, she reached for her flashlight, snapping it on to cut through the darkness. She walked into the chamber, frowning as she found it cold and empty.

Thinking that perhaps she'd gotten lost she turned, stopping short at the sight of Crader standing in the threshold. "Whoa," she exclaimed, her heart lurching a bit.

"I am sorry," he said.

"No. It's ok. You just startled me."

"I was concerned that you had gotten lost."

"I may be. I was looking for someone."

"Few journey this deeply into the caves."

"Well, the people I was looking for, I swear this is where I saw them last. A mother and her little girl. That's where I went." She reached into her jacket and pulled out the battered doll. "Kayla wanted this and I thought I'd just go to the village and get it, but sort of ran into a little trouble," she explained. He didn't seem to hear her, instead reaching out and taking the doll from her. "Do you know where they are?" she asked, frowning at him as he stared at the doll, raising one shaking hand to finger the doll's ragged dress.

"Crader?"

"Where did you get this?" he asked, not raising his eyes.

"The house in the village. It's going to need some repair work, I'm sorry to say. The roof fell in."

"I know."

"Huh?"

"It fell five seasons ago." He raised his eyes to meet hers. "The winds came early that year. My daughter and grand daughter were trapped. They hoped to weather the storm in their home, but did not survive."

"What?"

"My wife made Shela for Kayla. It was her first doll."

"No. You have to be mistaken. I talked to them just yesterday."

He shook his head. He walked past her, motioning for her to follow him. He led the way into a tiny chamber off to the side of the one they were in. Her flashlight illuminated two niches carved into the wall, the unmistakable form of a pair of shrouded bodies laying in them. He walked over to the smallest one, tiny enough to be a child and gently laid his hand atop the body, pausing for a moment before turning around. "My people do not seek shelter from the force of the winds, but rather what the winds bring. It has been said that the spirits of the departed return upon the winds, to make contact with those they have left behind. Mahra and Kayla wished to speak to you. I do not know why."

Sam stared at the corpses, her mind returning to the last conversation she'd had with Janet, then unanswered question, and unanswerable question that had been plaguing her thoughts since their return from P3X637.

_#_

_"Sam, I'm sorry, but I really don't know," Janet said apologetically._

_"Janet, there has to be a way to find out," she insisted._

_"The only way to know if what Nirti did to you effects whether or not you can conceive is if you did," the doctor explained. "All my tests indicate that everything is normal. The samples I've taken match your previous DNA."_

_"But you don't know for sure," she pressed, not quite understanding why it was so important to her all of a sudden. After all the things that had happened to her over the past six years, she'd never worried before. But this time she was scared. This time she was honestly afraid that the goa'uld had left some trap, used her as some Trojan Horse to bear back a hidden danger._

_"I'm sorry, Sam. I really am," the doctor said sincerely._

#

"I think I do," Sam whispered. She walked over to him, gently taking the doll from him and laying it atop the child's chest. "I'm so worried about a future that may never happen, that I'm ignoring the present I have."

"I do not understand," Crader said.

She turned to face him. "But I do."

"Carter? I swear to god I'm going to put a leash on you." O'Neill's voice shattered the moment and Sam shook her head slightly, trying to clear her thoughts.

"I need to go," she excused. "He wants to return to Earth before the winds begin again."

Crader smiled. "O'Neill made his preferences most clear. That is why I came searching for you." He turned to lead the way out of the chamber. "You will return?"

"Yes. Maybe not us, but definitely friends of ours," she reassured him. She followed him, pausing when the beam of her flashlight revealed a flash of white. Bending down she plucked the empty candy bar wrapper out of the dirt and stared at it.

"Carter!"

"Coming," she called, shoving it into her pocket and hurrying from the crypt.

Fin


End file.
